Revive Your Marriage- Week 4

 He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

He holds it all together. Everything!

My life, yours, our world, our universe.

Whether we acknowledge Him as Sovereign Lord of all creation or not, He is that!

In Colossians, He says that we are strengthened with all power according to His glorious might to steadfastly walk in a manner worthy of Him with all patience, joyously giving thanks!

That means we have His power to accomplish His will!

That is some power, girls!

We have no excuse!

We started week one with praying for our husbands, then we addressed our attitudes, and last week we worked on friendship. This week, we will address showing our husbands appreciation.

Do you ever feel unappreciated? It makes us grumpy and hard to live with sometimes if we feel that no one appreciates our efforts. I often have to take that to God and remember that I am living for Him and not the rest of the world. (Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, Colossians 3:23)

We don't want our husbands to feel grumpy and unappreciated. That makes them hard to live with. Not only that......

We are admonished in scripture to respect our husbands! If we are failing to show our husbands appreciation, we are failing to show them our respect. Part of respect is admiration and appreciation for the qualities and actions of that person.

I know, some of you feel that your husbands don't deserve your admiration and respect, but it is really a function of your obedience to God. Thank goodness God doesn't always give me what I deserve.

We have God's power to accomplish this task. It is simply a choice between our will or His for our lives.

We want His will. 

 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55: 8-9 

His ways are higher than ours and take us where we want to go!

Take the challenge this week and think of some creative ways to show your husband that you appreciate him.

                                                                              

Don't forget to visit the blogs below for their encouragement and insight into your efforts to  have the marriage God wants for you.
OK! I edited this to say you have GOT to read the posts below! I just finished to Love, Honor, and Vacuum and her post is SOOOO insightful!

Rescued, Redeemed, Forgiven

Colossians 1
¹³ For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of  His beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

He has brought me out of the darkness and into His light.
He has rescued me.
He has redeemed me.
He has forgiven me.

Thank You, Lord!
 
 

Strengthened With All Power According to His Glorious Might

Colossians 1

⁹ For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, ¹⁰ so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; ¹¹ strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously ¹² giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

Studying this verse yesterday, I was reminded that we are (vs. 11) strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining for all steadfastness and patience, while joyously giving thanks,(vs.10) to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work! 
This means that we have ALL the power of God, His Glorious Might, to live the way He wants us to live.

THEREFORE, WHEN I FAIL TO LIVE THE WAY HE WANTS, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN MY WILL OVER HIS!

People are really hard to get along with. We are all selfish and all want what we want, all the time! Our wants are constantly vying with the wants of those around us. We can't all have what we want. It makes me mad when I don't get what I want!
  
Isn't that embarrassing!
 
There are a lot of hurt people walking around with chips on their shoulders. They want you to be as miserable as they are. They often succeed in making me miserable!

Isn't that embarrassing!

So I struggle with anger and frustration when I don't get what I want and when people are unkind and unloving, which, because we are all sinful, is a lot of the time!

But that isn't the way I want to respond and that doesn't honor God!
I want to stedfastly, patiently, joyously walk in a manner worthy of  Him, pleasing Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work!

I can choose to have His power and choose His will over mine! It really is that simple!
I almost wish it weren't. Then I might have an excuse!

But I'm afraid there is no excuse. I can either choose to love the way He does or not!

He loves me so much! He demonstrates that over and over in my life!
I want to walk the way He wants me to walk!
I want to choose His will! 

Father,
Your theme for me lately has been loving the way You love. I want to be emptied of my wants and desires and desire what You want. I want to live the way and love the way You would have me to. Thank You that I have Your power to do this! You knew I couldn't do it any other way!
I love You!
Cheryl

OOPS!

To any friends that viewed a post in the past few minutes titled, Hard Seasons, that was not intended for publication. It was meant for a private journal entry. Please pray for the situations mentioned if you happened across it in the few minutes it was up. But it was not my desire to publicly air those grievances. Thanks,
Cheryl

Hard Seasons

This has been a hard season. A season in which I could see no purpose, .....until now.

There have been seasons before, seasons in which God took away my supports, you know, those human ones that we all have. I remember how hard it was. I didn't have a friend in town. I hadn't offended anyone, but my Christian friends thought that I should end my bad marriage and didn't want their children around mine anymore. They thought my husband had been physically abusive to my child because she had a bruise on her arm. He had not. I knew he hadn't. I had NEVER seen any indication of physical abuse. So they broke off our friendship. No longer was my daughter asked over for play dates. No longer did they call when the girls were getting together. It all stopped.
But I had sought the Lord long and hard about the issue and was certain of what I heard from Him and the Word. God hates divorce. That decision began a 20 year journey that isn't really over yet. I keep waiting for my husband to grow up. And he does, by baby steps. But God is patient with me. I wish I were as loving and patient with my husband as God is with me. That is the growing part of this senario for me, what God is doing in me. Slowly, I learn how to forgive over and over and over and over without hanging on to bitterness. Slowly, I learn how to love like He does. I wish it were an overnight process. Slowly I learn new ways to give my husband consequences when he is unkind, thoughtless, and selfish. And had my friends continued our friendship, I am not sure that I could have withstood their opinions and remained in my marriage. It was God's way of helping me stay the course.
Anyway, I am in a new season of being friendless. Despite my best efforts to be a great friend, I did offend one of my friends. She has never discussed the issue with me, so I don't exactly know what offended her. Her husband owed us money for several years. I thought he must have forgotten it. We are really struggling financially and his finances seemed much better than they had been in previous years. It seemed only fiscally responsible to ask about the debt. I bought some carpet from him for our home in the May of 2007 and he went out of business in July and never delivered it. The debt was around 2000 dollars. He said he didn't have my carpet when I asked for it in the summer of 2007. I asked if he could order it, and he said he didn't have my carpet and he didn't have my money. He said he was sorry, he couldn't pay us now, but he promised to pay us when he could. When I told David, he asked me if he were still in business. I said I guessed so, that I didn't know anything about it if he had gone out. Then, at separate times, David and I both drove by the business to see if he were still open. He was open and at the business when David drove by. When I went by, I asked his employee behind the counter if they were still doing business and he said yes. I never told my friend about it. She was already mad at him all the time and I didn't want to cause her any further embarrassment or heartache. This year, when David asked about the debt, He told my friend, his wife, that he was already out of business when I asked for the carpet and had tried a couple of times over the summer to install it and that I had something going on and put him off.  It's possible. But if he were trying to get me to let him install it in June and July and he knew he was headed out of business, it seems like he would have mentioned that he needed to proceed because his business was closing. I'm sure if I had been given that information, I would have gone on with installation no matter what was going on in my life or in my house. I do know that Mom was sick, Sarah was in Jacksonville, FL that summer and Rachel probably went to Montreal that summer some time; so there could have been reasons that I wouldn't have been around to handle it after we finished the tile.
It makes more sense, if he had the carpet, that maybe he tried to get in touch with me and couldn't because I wasn't around. But then he knew where David was. He could have called David. Because of the way he answered me when I asked for installation, I don't he ever had the carpet and had spent the money.
Not only that, but in June I went into the store to look for tile for the kitchen. There was a large roll of carpet in the showroom. I asked Marvin if it was mine. I had only seen a small swatch of mine and wanted to look at the roll. He said that it was for someone else. I asked if mine were in the back and he said that they had not ordered mine. I am certain that if he had not ordered it by five or six weeks after I ordered it, he didn't order it between that time and the time I asked for it. Bottom line, I paid for it and didn't get it. It's a lot of money and too much to  drop without ever mentioning again. He had not mentioned it in the years intervening and neither had we. He said he would pay us back when he could and I took his word.
Anyway, when David asked him about it, he was rude and angry. He said he wasn't going to pay the debt because he had filed bankruptcy. David told him that he had not been included in a bankruptcy and asked him if he owed the money, and he answered that he owed it but wasn't going to pay it. He said he couldn't afford to. David offered him payments. He refused. David asked him what was he supposed to do about the money. He told David to sue him. David said all right, I will. I asked David if he mentioned litigation earlier in the conversation. He said no.
The truth be told, when I told David that I thought he must have forgotten the debt, David said he thought that he just didn't intend to make good on the debt. I said that I knew he wouldn't just not pay and never say a word about it. I said he must have forgotten. The next day, I asked David again if he thought that he really just didn't intent to pay us back. He said that was what he thought. I said, then maybe we shouldn't ask. David said he thought we should ask. I asked him if he had prayed about it. He said yes. And I smothered my qualms about asking him. I didn't want to stir up a hornet's nest.But I am trying to stay home with my baby and my husband is trying to let me do that. We did need the money. And David is the head of our family. He said he thought he should ask. And I never dreamed that my friend's husband would react that way, not in a million years.
We never gave him a moments grief about what he did. I never expected him to be ugly and angry. David was livid. He wanted to file suit the next day. I told him that I wouldn't and couldn't sue my friend. I love her and I just couldn't. He said it wouldn't be me, it would be him. I said it was the same thing. It didn't matter. And I prayed. I prayed for God's will.
She didn't take my phone calls. I e-mailed her to explain what had happened and she answered that she didn't know how to respond to that fairy tale. Evidently she thought I was lying.
I still don't know what he told her happened.
I tried to lay out the facts and explain what had happened a couple of more times. David talked with her husband a couple of more times.
The third time he talked with him, he offered to pay the debt in part. David asked him about the remainder and he said that would be it. That made David mad again. He invited David to sue him again, and David said it was too late to do it that day, but that he would file in the morning.
From the start, after I knew my friend's husbands intentions, I just wanted to drop the whole thing. If they didn't want to pay the money, I didn't want it. I didn't want money to come between me and my friend. David said that we really needed to lay out the facts or it would look like I was making the whole thing up. So I continued correspondence. But with that last phone call, I didn't want their money and I didn't want him to file suit. Obviously, they were still angry about the whole thing. David finally understood how firmly I felt about litigation when I told him that if he filed, I wouldn't testify. I don't know why he thought I would anyway. I told him I would not litigate against my friend from the start; logically, that would include testifying if he filed suit.
The next morning, they called David and asked him to pick up the full payment. He didn't consult me. I would have refused it.
It didn't feel loving to insist that he pay what he didn't want to pay. Anger didn't feel like the correct response. I never felt angry. Just sad that there had been a misunderstanding that separated me from my friend.
Anyway, I used to talk to my friend a lot. Now I talk to God a lot more. Maybe that was His plan.

It's really difficult to see how the lack of love and unity is God's will. I'm sure it is not. He wants us all to love and encourage one another and lift each other up. That fiasco wasn't His will.

It may have been His will for David to have his money. He certainly needed it.  We lived off of it for the next month.

But the broken fellowship wasn't His will, I don't think.

Nonetheless, He has used it for good. I do like being dependent on Him for support and fellowship. He is the best friend and I love Him so much.

I still pray for my friend and her husband regularly. I want God's best for them and always have. I am still very saddened by the separation.

Sometimes I get angry now. But God addresses that in me. I want to love. I don't want to be mad. It accomplishes nothing but evil. My friend has talked with other friends about the situation and I have been defriended by them also. It's hard not to address it and tell what happened from my perspective. But I am pretty sure I won't. It's a really sad story, and I don't think it bears repeating. If they ever ask, I am going to say there are two sides to everything, and that I attempted to act in love, whatever mistakes I made.

Blessed Because He Is Faithful

I wish the perfect scripture were coming to mind right now.
My heart is so full of His blessing.
He is so faithful.
He hears me.
He answers me.
Oh, Precious Lord, let me faithfully live my days to Your glory! I am so blessed to be Your child. I love You so much. Thank You for Your faithful work in our lives, in the lives of my loved ones and friends and in my life. I don't deserve all that You do. Thank You for Your sacrificial love on Calvary! Thank You that my sentence is "Not Guilty" due to Your love.
You are worthy of a life lived all out.
Help me to live it for You.
Show me what You would have me to do to show my gratitude.
And remind me of this the next time that I am struggling with an area that You have already revealed to me. I am ashamed that I struggle with even the revealed. Let my heart be obedient to You!

Proverbs from Ricochet(http://www.ricochet1950.com/verbaldynamite1.html)

What could be wrong with just talking, as long as you don't actually lie? Proverbs sees plenty of danger. Words are dynamite; they can destroy people. They should be carefully weighed before they are spoken. Even truthful words can damage. Yet they can also save a friend from going wrong. Proverbs speaks strongly about both the danger of gossip and the good done when someone justly rebukes his friend.

"The tongue has the power of life and death," Proverbs 18:21 says, "and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs teaches the skill of speaking so as to give life.Proverbs on the importance of words:10:11, 20; 12:14; 15:4; 17:10; 18:21; 25:11.Proverbs on the wrong way to speak:6:16-19; 11:9, 12, 13; 12:18; 13:3; 16:27, 28; 18:8, 13; 26: 23-28; 29:5.Proverbs on the right way to speak: 10:14, 21, 32; 12:25; 15:1, 23, 28; 16:13, 23, 24; 17:27, 28; 25:12, 15; 27:5, 6; 28:23.Proverbs on the dangers of words: 10:19; 14:23.

I just stumbled on Ricochet's blog, but she does a good job of categorizing Proverbs for us and her blog is worth a visit! She has more lists of Proverbs at the bottom of her blog.

So true! How to really love a child!

Revive Your Marriage Week Three!

Today I tuned in to timewarpwife.com for the Revive Your Marriage series. Isn't it funny how when God is giving you a message, He gives it to you everywhere you turn. Thank you, Lord for not being subtle with me. You know I don't get subtle very well! She says in her post, "What we see in all of this is that true friendship is not self-seeking. If we want to strengthen the bond, we must be willing to give up our desires for the good of another. " If you see my post from last night, you will see that God has been talking to me about loving like He loves. True love is not self seeking, it is self-sacrificing. You can read the rest of her post here.      
           http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2012/09/revive-your-marriage-revive-your.html   The first week we talked about reviving our prayers for our husbands.  The second week we talked about changing our attitudes, reviving an renewing a loving attitude.      The challenge for this week is to revive your friendship. That means to treat your husband like a friend. Do something fun together! Take some time to be together and laugh! Find a movie that you know you both love and watch it! Go bowling! Go skating! Go take a hike! Do something fun!   To so this you have to begin with prayer and a good attitude. If you haven't done it yet, pray for your husband like never before. Address every area of his life, especially his wife!LOL! Then take stock of your attitude towards him and your marriage. That has to be right to have some fun with him.You have to be willing to be his friend...   It's hard with the stresses and strains of life and kids to remember what it was like when you were just good friends.  Disagreements, disappointments, the distance of a lack of time, the distance of responsibilities, the distance of unmet expectations, the distance that can creep in and squash your marriage, it's hard to forgive all that. Instead of kindness to one another, there's irritation.  Instead of forgiveness, often anger and bitterness.   Marriage is hard. It takes a rubber meets the road relationship with Christ to survive, much less thrive.   The bitter poison of unforgiveness can kill a marriage. It will kill you! We weren't intended to carry a load of bitterness around. You need to throw that load off, give it to God, and have the joy and peace He intends for you. You are poisoning yourself  and your marriage! Don't let Satan have that victory! I know, they really don't deserve to be forgiven.  Neither do we. And yet... Hebrews 10:10,  And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.(NIV) A Savior endured the shame and pain of Calvary for us. At judgement, the sentence will be, "Not Guilty." Not because we deserve to go without punishment, but because He loved us enough to take the pain and shame of our sin and bear it on the cross. It's a debt we can't pay. But we can forgive, for Him.  Because He is worth it. Because we want to glorify Him and the sacrifice He made that we might have victory. I am grateful for His mercy every day and I want to extend that mercy to all who wound me.  I want the "Living Water" to flow from me to them in love and forgiveness!   So let go of the past and enjoy your husband once again.  You can have the romance and relationship that God intended for you to have. Let the God of all hope go with you to redeem your marriage, your romance, your relationship and have glorious fun! Luke 1:37, "For nothing is impossible with God." (NIV)   Let's go there together and love our husbands the way God intended and have the marriages we always dreamed of!                       Don't forget to visit these sites for additional encouragement for your marriage! They have some invaluable insights that you need to hear!         

To Love Like He Loves

God is love...
I think that is one of the first bible verses a child learns.
And that love is the love that redeems us.
He redeems our lives, our futures, our marriages, our children, our relationships.... There is nothing that submitted to the Father can not be redeemed.

I have been thinking  a lot lately about loving the way the Father loves.
To often, I want it all to be about me. Born selfish. The curse of the flesh.
I don't even often recognize how selfish I am.
But when I compare my love to the love of the Father, I can see.

He tells us how to love. I am striving to love more like this...

I Corinthians 13

13 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸ Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part; ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. ¹³ But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I'll confess something. It is easy to hurt my feelings. It didn't used to be so easy. But the slings and arrows of life have wounded me some and well, I bruise more easily now. I don't feel as secure and loved as I used to. 

But today, I remembered the times as a child when I felt loved by no one but my parents and family. I felt friendless, except for God. He was there. I remember so clearly thinking that if no one else loved me , He did. It made all the difference. 
And it still does today. 
I remembered that, though others may wound me, may be inconsiderate of me, may not crave time with me as I do with them, may not call me, may not celebrate my special occasions.....I have a lover of my soul that loves me completely. It is enough. It is enough to fill the painful voids left by human companionship and make me feel whole enough to love unconditionally the people in my life that may bruise me.

Love is not easily provoked. Did you know that?
You  probably wouldn't have known that if you had been looking at the attitudes and actions that I have displayed at provocation. I have been easily provoked. But I am working on it. 

I want to be full enough of the Lover of my soul that I have a reservoir that doesn't feel needy.A reservoir that can take criticism without becoming angry. A reservoir that isn't touchy or easily provoked. A reservoir that overflows with His love to the people in my life. 

My son recently criticized me for calling his Biology teacher "he." He said that he had already told me that it was a woman. I didn't really remember or didn't pay attention. But he seemed really irritated. It hurt my feelings. Then, I realized that I didn't want to be so touchy. I want to be loving and kind. I want to be someone that they would want to be around. If I am touchy and easily hurt, they will not want a lot of that. It's childish. 

My daughter frequently ignores me when I am talking to her for a while before she answers or acknowledges that I have spoken. That hurts my feelings. I feel like a cell phone takes precedence. But that is childish, too.It may need correction because it is rude, but it shouldn't hurt my feelings. 

We can't have that kind of love unless we spend a lot of time letting the Lover of our souls fill us with His goodness and love. To overflowing. 

Oh, how I love Him!  

Tomorrow we continue our Revive Our Marriage Series! I can't wait! My marriage is improving!

Another post by the Revive Your Marriage Team

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/09/revive-your-marriage-revive-your-attitude/

You are here: Home / marriage / communication / Revive Your Marriage: Revive Your Attitude

Revive Your Marriage: Revive Your Attitude

September 9, 2012 By Sheila

Revive Your Marriage Series

It’s time to…Revive Your Marriage! This month I’m joining three bloggy friends, and every Monday we’ll all write our own posts on how you can Revive Your Marriage!
Today our topic is Revive Your Marriage through Reviving Your Attitude!
I have a friend that we’ll call Laura. Laura married her husband Jeff right out of university. Jeff came from a blue collar family, and was the first to pursue higher education among his immediate relatives. He was a hard worker, and Laura loved that about him. He was focused. He was responsible.
When they had children, Laura stopped working to stay at home, because Jeff was now a corporate exec in a multinational company. And Jeff worked. A lot. In fact, he worked at least six days a week, and of those six days, was only home two or three when the children were still awake. Fourteen hour days were par for the course.
Laura spoke with him about this at length when the kids were young, and his response was that he knew the kids were safe with her and thriving, but he needed to put in these hours so that they could reach their dreams, and be able to retire early and give their kids so many great experiences and opportunities. Laura told him that she thought the kids wanted more of him. He replied that this would mean having to leave his job, and there’s no way he’d find another one that would let him be home more at even half the income, so it wasn’t an option.
And this is where Laura made a decision that likely many people would find difficult, if not wrong.
She let it go.
Did she think it was good for the family if Jeff missed out on most of the children’s lives? No. Did she think it hurt the kids? Yes. Would she have been happy at half the salary? Yes. Did she think  his priorities were messed up? Yes.
But she also knew that she wasn’t going to change him, and that she had two choices:

• I can be bitter about this and make everyone’s life miserable over it
• Or I can accept it and try to give all of us the best life I can within these confines

She chose the latter. She gave her husband over to God, and she started to live her life with gratitude. Instead of resenting the fact that Jeff wasn’t there, she made sure she and the kids had fun. She occasionally even planned vacations without Jeff. And whenever Jeff was home, she made the time fun for him and the kids. And she made sure he knew that she appreciated him for being there. She even vowed to make their sex life great again.
And lo and behold, as the years went by, he started to take a little more initiative to seek out the older kids to do things with them. And the family has fared quite well–so far.
Here’s the thing: many of us in our marriages have one or two things that our husbands do that we find it very difficult to live with. Maybe he works too much. Maybe he’s just really lazy and doesn’t work enough. Maybe he doesn’t help with the kids. Maybe he spends too much time with his mother. Maybe he doesn’t talk to you enough.
I don’t know what it is, but I do know this: If this is not something that you would divorce him over, you need to give it to God and stop letting it make you bitter.
Men thrive on appreciation and respect; when we show that we appreciate them, we empower them, and quite often they want to do more. They tend to thrive in areas of their lives where they get the most positive feedback, which is one reason so many men spend so much time at work.
Appreciation is hard when you can see all the bad choices that he has making that are harming not just him, but also you and the kids. And you know one day he’ll regret it. But you can’t change him. Only God can. And the more bitter you become, the bigger wedge you will build in your marriage.
Some things are so big that we have to take action, like if he’s using porn, or if he never ever makes love to you, or if he’s violent. But other things, even if they really hurt is, we have to let go, because hanging on to them will ultimately more painful and more dangerous than letting go.
God is big enough to hold you, to do battle for you, to change your husband’s heart (and yours). You don’t have to do that. Will you hand over the one or two things that are keeping you from totally loving your husband today? If it’s not something that you would leave over (like adultery, or addiction, or abuse), then you shouldn’t leave him emotionally now, either.
I know this isn’t popular to say. I know a lot of you are mad at me right now, and thinking what an idiot your husband is. I don’t walk in your shoes, and it could be that your husband really is that horrible. But then, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you marry him?
You saw something nice in your husband once. I believe those attractive qualities can come out again if you start accepting him and even pursuing him. So, please, ladies, even if you don’t believe what I’m saying, can I ask you to try today’s challenge?



Instead of focusing on how he has failed you, commit to just loving and accepting him. Even commit to making love more frequently! As you make love more, you will feel closer to him and you’ll feel more goodwill, too. Maybe that’s hard for you because you honestly don’t enjoy sex. If that’s the case, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex has great info in a fun way that can help you turn it around! If you feel really distant from your husband, sometimes getting a new perspective on sex can start the process of bringing you together again.
Throughout this week I’ll be writing more about how to change our attitude–and on Wednesday I’ll finally write my big post on what I think submission means (since a number of you have been asking lately!) So tune in this week, too!
My three blogging friends have also written on this today, and you can see what they have to say, too!
Courtney from WomenLivingWell, Darlene from TimeWarpWife.com, and Jennifer from UnveiledWife.com have all written awesome posts on prayer! Click on through to see what they have to say.






And you can have your say, too! Just leave a comment to tell us the struggles you’ve had with prayer, the solutions you’ve found, or how you remind yourself to pray for your husband and encourage him through prayer. And if you blog, you can write a Revive Your Marriage post and link up using the linky below! The same linky appears on all four blogs, so you’ll get even more coverage for your post!

Join us next Monday when we talk about how to “Revive Your Attitude”!

Revive Your Marriage Week 2

Last week, we began our challenge with prayer. Let's continue in prayer for our husbands and ourselves and get started on Challenge number 2!

There have been times I was so disillusioned with my marriage. Some of you may have been there. Some of you may still be there. But I have never given up on God's ability to sustain and provide. He is faithful. He is able. I look at King Nebuchadnezzar. Though he had seen God's miracles as God rescued Daniel from the lion's den, and Daniel interpret dreams and other miracles, he failed to give God credit for his power and his kingdom. God was able to change his heart and his mind. Sometimes when I am praying for someone that seems too hardened for God to touch, I like to remember King Nebuchadnezzar. God can work the impossible in hearts and He can work the impossible in our marriages.
Life is fleeting.  We only live for a short while with our husbands here on earth. Are you living it well?
I want to, and I know you do too.
Remember what you love about your husband. Remember all his good qualities. Remember your courtship. Let him be your knight in shining armour again in your heart. And love him like God loves us.
God CAN do the miraculous!
Here is the link to Women Living Well for this weeks challenge.




 Lord,
We want our marriages and our lives to be to Your glory, for You alone are worthy. From You and In You and To You and For You, are all things.  With Your miraculous hands and heart, Lord, empower us to love as You love and be the wives You created us to be. Enable and empower us to have the marriages You designed us to have to Your glory.
We love You!
In Jesus Name,
Cheryl

Beauty for Ashes

Isaiah 61 : 1 - 3

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

1The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,^a

2to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor. 

I know that you, like me, have ashes in your life. The areas or situations that need to be restored, redeemed. The areas that need the touch of the Master's hand.

I ran across this verse tongiht. 

Often God will give me a verse to lift my heart when I am burdened for one of those areas that need His redemption. Not long ago, it was the Book of Daniel. What an awesome God we serve!

He gave me this tonight and I just wanted to share it with you. 

God is so good.

He IS our Redeemer!

Praise Him with me!

Lord,

You know the areas of my life that are weighing my heart down. Thank You that You are God. Thank You that You have the power to bring beauty from ashes! Please do that in those areas of my life and in the life of my family. You have proven that You are faithful. Thank You for helping my heart to remember!

I love You, Lord!

Cheryl

 

Revive Your Marriage

For the month of September, I am participating in a Revive Your Marriage Series. Throughout the month, there will be one thing to pray for in your marriage on a weekly basis.

For the first week, the challenge is to Revive Your Prayers for your Husband. The basis of this challenge is James 5:17. The verse says, "The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."(KJV)

In the book by Stormie OMartian - The Power of a Praying Wife, she gives several examples of how we can pray for our husbands. Be sure and ask your husband if he has any special requests and include those. Here are a few others to include:

• • His Wife -that’s a good place to start right? lol!
  • His Work
  • His Finances
  • His Affections
  • His Temptations
  • His Fears
  • His Purpose
  • His Health
  • His Trials
  • His Integrity
  • His Priorities
  • His Fatherhood
  • His Past
  • His Attitude

One of my favorite verses on prayer is Philippians 4: 6 -7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. "




You can participate too! I can't get this button to go to the correct date on the blog, but there is a link on the side of the blog where recent posts are listed. Or you may copy and paste the link below the button.

http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/09/week-1-revive-your-prayers-for-your-marriage/

Rubber Meets the Road

I have been thinking of raising money for missions. I need to stop thinking and start doing. I found a couple of deserving organizations on this blog post by Ashlee B Lucas.  If you are looking for a way to serve God where you are or somewhere to go, this may be for you.

http://ashleeblucas.wordpress.com/2012/09/03/restoration-hope-whatever-whenever-just-do-it/

Restoration Hope-Whatever…Whenever….Just do it!!!

This entry was posted on September 3, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment

Do you know anyone who said Yes to God before they got the question? Would you be willing to do that?
Yes God! Whatever? Whenever?
I do…Jason and Brandy Hester! Restoration Hope! www.restorationhope.org
One of the values we hold dear at Restoration Hope is that we only work through strong South African organizations with whom we share a common vision and passion. We are honored to serve alongside our two primary partners, Tabitha and iThemba.
TABITHA MINISTRIES Tabitha Ministries is a Christian non-profit organization providing care for people affected and infected with HIV/AIDS. Based in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, they care for adults and children in the community with a major focus on “child-headed households.” Tabitha also operates an orphanage and school focused on caring for, ministering to and develop the next generation of leaders.
iTHEMBA PROJECTS iThemba exists to serve the people of Mpumuza and to give them a hope for the future through education, empowerment and new skills. They are particularly passionate about the new generation — the children and youth.
Their passion extends into two areas — the moral fibre of the youth and their education. They believe that if a new generation of men and women can step into adulthood with a high level of education and strong moral convictions, the community of Mpumuza will experience a new hope for a much brighter future.
What does God say about orphans and our responsibility?
Blog by Tim Davis:

1. God calls Himself the Father of the  fatherless.

·        Psalm 68:5, “A father of the fatherless and a  judge for the widows, is God in His holy  habitation.”

2. God considers spiritual service the  purest when His people are taking care of orphans.  (and)  A religion that does not care for orphans is no  religion at all.

·        James 1:27, “Religion that God our Father  accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their  distress.”

3. God’s people are commanded to care for  orphans.  To see an orphan afflicted, and to turn a deaf ear,  is sin, even rebellion.

·        Exodus 22:22, “You shall not afflict any widow or  orphan.”
·        Isaiah 1:17, “Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove  the ruthless, Defend the orphan, plead for the  widow.”
·        Isaiah 1:23, “Your rulers are rebellious, and  companions of thieves; everyone loves bribes, and follows after  rewards.  They do not defend the  fatherless.”

4. We can be the hands and love of Christ  Himself by providing practical care.

·        Deuteronomy 10:18, “He executes justice for the  orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and  clothing.”
·        Psalm 10:14, “But You, O God, do see trouble and  grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits  himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.”
·        Matthew 18:5, “Whoever receives a child in My name,  receives Me.”
·        Matthew 25: 45, “Truly I say to you, to the  extent that you did it to one of the least of these, you did it unto  Me.”

5. Orphans are to be taken care of with  the same honor and provision as a Pastor or Priest.

·        Deuteronomy 14:28-30, “The Levite (priest),  because he has not portion or inheritance among you, and the alien, the orphan  and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in  order that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which  you do.”

6. A portion of all that we possess is  sacred and belongs to the orphan.

·        Deuteronomy 26:12-14, “You shall say before the  Lord your God, ‘I have removed the sacred portion from my house, and also have  given it to the Levite and the alien, the orphan and the widow, according to all  Your commandments which You have commanded me; I have not transgressed or  forgotten any of Your commandments.”
Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/redletters/2006/11/scriptures-on-c.html#ixzz25PytRTPf
I am not sure what God is calling you to do. It could be to go. It could be to give. It could be a different ministry.It could be to adopt or foster a child. It could be you don’t know you have never asked.
Say yes to God!!! Whatever it is…One person can make a difference!!!!

Number Our Days

Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

I struggle.
There is so much to do that I want to bury my head in freestyle on the computer.
Freestyle is so easy to organize. I can almost always win.
And I don't feel like I am winning when it seems that as soon as I get something done, it is undone.

Do you struggle with that?

If I do the dishes and clean the kitchen, it will be undone by the time we eat our next meal.
If I pick up the den and sweep the floor, the baby will eat, and she's a messy eater, and  the floor need to be cleaned again. 
If I do the laundry, we wear the clothes and they are dirty again.
I know that I am preventing another layer of messy by continuing in the the struggle for order, but I never seem to get there.

Nonetheless, freestyle is not a wise use of my time.
I want every hour to count.

Matthew 9:37 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

I want to be a laborer in His harvest. If I am wasting my time, who is perishing because I didn't use my time wisely and labor in the harvest?

Many are perishing! So many!

Oh Lord, burden our hearts for the lost! Teach us to labor fruitfully in Your harvest and lead others to You!
Let us be mindful of every hour that we could use laboring in Your harvest! Let us love each of these perishing ones as You do.

Lord,
Thank You for loving me. Thank You for Your mercy and patience. Thank You for the opportunity to work as Your laborer in Your harvest. Help me to see the opportunities that are before me and take advantage of those. Give me the opportunity to do Your work.
I love You so, Lord.
In Jesus Name,
Cheryl

The Source

I was talking with my son yesterday about life. I asked him what he wanted more than anything else.
He wasn't sure.
It's funny. We often don't know what we want.
But I am sure of what we need. And even if we don't know it, the only thing that can really fill us, the only thing that can really satisfy us, the only thing that can really make us whole, the only source of joy, of all good things, is God.
We want to be a people that seek, glorify and honor God, don't we?
I often pray that for all of my friends and family. That we would be a people that seek, glorify and honor God.
Then, we want to be mission minded. I want to get out there and testify!
Matthew 9:37 "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few."
I want to be ready to give a reason for the hope that is within me. I want to let a sick and dying world know that there is a Savior.
I want my children to know how to do that.
Lord,
Help us to be faithful to seek You and know You. Empty us of ourselves and fill us that we may honor and glorify You! Teach us to be laborers in the harvest!

Hidden Sins

So much of our sin is hidden sin. It's not the obvious. Most of us look like the good "Sunday School Girl." If we lose our tempers with our kids, and as Lisa TerKeurst says, our "mean girl" comes out, we don't do it in public, for heaven's sake. We do that in the privacy of our own homes.

Everyone wants to look good.

Imagine if the secret sins, the ones that only you know about, were displayed for all to see.

How embarrassing!

Consider the adulterous woman...

8 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ² Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them. ³ The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, ⁴ they *said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. ⁵ Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” ⁶ They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. ⁷ But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. ⁹ When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. ¹⁰ Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” ¹¹ She said, “No one, ^[b]Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”]

  

What sins would you forsake if you knew it would be made public? Would you forgive that friend or family member that hurt you? Would you watch that TV program or movie that you wouldn't want Jesus to see?

Would your pride shame you? Would you let yourself go down that trail of anger and let it all hang out?

I doubt it.
 All of our sins will eventually be revealed and judged. 


I am ashamed to admit, that though I know God sees my sin and it hurts Him, I obviously care more about what others think than what He thinks, if you judge by what I am able to conquer privately. The sins that others can't see, I harbor and allow. 

If we treated all our sin as if it were embroidered on our chests like "The Scarlet Letter,"  we would be more likely to forsake them. It's just human nature.

I know that you, like me, want to have victory over the "secret sins" in your life. God sees all and judges all. It will all one day be revealed. I want to stand before him in judgement without shame. And I want to live for Him now completely and wholly His, nothing held back. I can't be all that He intends if I let the enemy win the battle of  my "secret sins."

Lord,

My anger is as the sin of murder.   I want to treat it as such. I want to love unconditionally like You. Help me to put nothing before my eyes that wouldn't glorify You. And I want to reach a dying world. Empty me of all the world and fill me with You. I love You, Father. Thank you for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You for Your Son.
In His Name,
Cheryl 



In researching secret sins, I found a post by John MacArthur. (http://www.gty.org/Resources/Articles/A214)

He makes several points so eloquently, that I will am going to post his words for you. 

Nothing Safe about Secret Sin

John MacArthur
Jesus' exposition of the law is a devastating blow against the lie that image is everything.
Our Lord taught repeatedly that sin bottled up on the inside, concealed from everyone else's view, carries the very same guilt as sin that manifests itself in the worst forms of ungodly behavior. Those who hate others are as guilty as those who act out their hatred; and those who indulge in private lusts are as culpable as wanton adulterers (Matt. 5:21-30).
So Christians are not to think of secret sins as somehow less serious and more respectable than the sins everyone sees. Here are three reasons secret sin is especially abhorrent:
1. Because God sees the heart.
Scripture tells us "God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). No sin--not even a whispered curse or a fleeting evil thought--is hidden from the view of God. In fact, if we realized that God himself is the only audience for such secret sins, we might be less inclined to write them off so lightly.
The Bible declares that God will one day judge the secrets of every heart (Rom. 2:16). He "will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil" (Eccl. 12:14).
Not only that, secret sins will not remain secret. "The Lord [will] bring to light the things hidden in the darkness" (1 Cor. 4:5). Jesus said, "There is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops" (Luke 12:2-3). Those who think they can evade shame by sinning in secret will discover one day that open disclosure of their secrets before the very throne of God is the worst shame of all.
It is folly to think we can mitigate our sin by keeping it secret. It is double folly to tell ourselves that we are better than others because we sin in private rather than in public. And it is the very height of folly to convince ourselves that we can get away with sin by covering it up. "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper" (Prov. 28:13).
All sin is an assault against our holy God, whether it is done in public or in secret. And God, who beholds even the innermost secrets of the heart, sees our sin clearly, no matter how well we think we have covered it.

2. Because sin in the mind is a fruit of the same moral defect that produces deeds of sin.
When Jesus said hatred carries the same kind of guilt as murder, and lust is the very essence of adultery, He was not suggesting that there is no difference in degree between sin that takes place in the mind and sin that is acted out. Scripture does not teach that all sins are of equal enormity.
That some sins are worse than others is both patently obvious and thoroughly biblical. Scripture plainly teaches this, for example, when it tells us the sin of Judas was greater than the sin of Pilate (John 19:11).
But in His Sermon on the Mount Jesus was pointing out that anger arises from the same moral defect as murder; and the one who lusts suffers from the same character flaw as the adulterer. Furthermore, those who engage in thought-sins are guilty of violating the same moral precepts as those who commit acts of murder and adultery.
In other words, secret sins of the heart are morally tantamount to the worst kind of evil deeds--even if they are sins of a lesser degree. The lustful person has no right to feel morally superior to a wanton fornicator. The fact that she indulges in lust is proof she is capable of immoral acts as well. The fact that he hates his brother shows that he has murder lurking in his heart.
Christ was teaching us to view our own secret sins with the same moral revulsion we feel for wanton acts of public sin.

3. Because hidden sin involves the compounding sin of hypocrisy.
Those who sin secretly actually intensify their guilt, because they add the sin of hypocrisy to their offense. Hypocrisy is a grave sin in its own right. It also produces an especially debilitating kind of guilt, because by definition hypocrisy entails the concealing of sin. And the only remedy for any kind of sin involves uncovering our guilt through sincere confession.
Hypocrisy therefore permeates the soul with a predisposition against genuine repentance. That is why Jesus referred to hypocrisy as "the leaven of the Pharisees" (Luke 12:1).
Hypocrisy also works directly against the conscience. There's no way to be hypocritical without searing the conscience. So hypocrisy inevitably makes way for the most vile, soul-coloring, character-damaging secret sins. Thus hypocrisy compounds itself, just like leaven.
Beware that sort of leaven.
No matter who suggests to you that appearances are everything, don't buy that lie.
As a matter of fact, your secret life is the real litmus test of your character: "As he thinks within himself, so he is" (Prov. 23:7). Do you want to know who you really are? Take a hard look at your private life--especially your innermost thoughts. Gaze into the mirror of God's Word, and allow it to disclose and correct the real thoughts and motives of your heart.