Monday, September 17, 2012
Revive Your Marriage Week Three!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
To Love Like He Loves
God is love...
I think that is one of the first bible verses a child learns.
And that love is the love that redeems us.
He redeems our lives, our futures, our marriages, our children, our relationships.... There is nothing that submitted to the Father can not be redeemed.
I have been thinking a lot lately about loving the way the Father loves.
To often, I want it all to be about me. Born selfish. The curse of the flesh.
I don't even often recognize how selfish I am.
But when I compare my love to the love of the Father, I can see.
He tells us how to love. I am striving to love more like this...
I Corinthians 13
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I'll confess something. It is easy to hurt my feelings. It didn't used to be so easy. But the slings and arrows of life have wounded me some and well, I bruise more easily now. I don't feel as secure and loved as I used to.
But today, I remembered the times as a child when I felt loved by no one but my parents and family. I felt friendless, except for God. He was there. I remember so clearly thinking that if no one else loved me , He did. It made all the difference.
And it still does today.
I remembered that, though others may wound me, may be inconsiderate of me, may not crave time with me as I do with them, may not call me, may not celebrate my special occasions.....I have a lover of my soul that loves me completely. It is enough. It is enough to fill the painful voids left by human companionship and make me feel whole enough to love unconditionally the people in my life that may bruise me.
Love is not easily provoked. Did you know that?
You probably wouldn't have known that if you had been looking at the attitudes and actions that I have displayed at provocation. I have been easily provoked. But I am working on it.
I want to be full enough of the Lover of my soul that I have a reservoir that doesn't feel needy.A reservoir that can take criticism without becoming angry. A reservoir that isn't touchy or easily provoked. A reservoir that overflows with His love to the people in my life.
My son recently criticized me for calling his Biology teacher "he." He said that he had already told me that it was a woman. I didn't really remember or didn't pay attention. But he seemed really irritated. It hurt my feelings. Then, I realized that I didn't want to be so touchy. I want to be loving and kind. I want to be someone that they would want to be around. If I am touchy and easily hurt, they will not want a lot of that. It's childish.
My daughter frequently ignores me when I am talking to her for a while before she answers or acknowledges that I have spoken. That hurts my feelings. I feel like a cell phone takes precedence. But that is childish, too.It may need correction because it is rude, but it shouldn't hurt my feelings.
We can't have that kind of love unless we spend a lot of time letting the Lover of our souls fill us with His goodness and love. To overflowing.
Oh, how I love Him!
Tomorrow we continue our Revive Our Marriage Series! I can't wait! My marriage is improving!
I think that is one of the first bible verses a child learns.
And that love is the love that redeems us.
He redeems our lives, our futures, our marriages, our children, our relationships.... There is nothing that submitted to the Father can not be redeemed.
I have been thinking a lot lately about loving the way the Father loves.
To often, I want it all to be about me. Born selfish. The curse of the flesh.
I don't even often recognize how selfish I am.
But when I compare my love to the love of the Father, I can see.
He tells us how to love. I am striving to love more like this...
I Corinthians 13
13 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I'll confess something. It is easy to hurt my feelings. It didn't used to be so easy. But the slings and arrows of life have wounded me some and well, I bruise more easily now. I don't feel as secure and loved as I used to.
But today, I remembered the times as a child when I felt loved by no one but my parents and family. I felt friendless, except for God. He was there. I remember so clearly thinking that if no one else loved me , He did. It made all the difference.
And it still does today.
I remembered that, though others may wound me, may be inconsiderate of me, may not crave time with me as I do with them, may not call me, may not celebrate my special occasions.....I have a lover of my soul that loves me completely. It is enough. It is enough to fill the painful voids left by human companionship and make me feel whole enough to love unconditionally the people in my life that may bruise me.
Love is not easily provoked. Did you know that?
You probably wouldn't have known that if you had been looking at the attitudes and actions that I have displayed at provocation. I have been easily provoked. But I am working on it.
I want to be full enough of the Lover of my soul that I have a reservoir that doesn't feel needy.A reservoir that can take criticism without becoming angry. A reservoir that isn't touchy or easily provoked. A reservoir that overflows with His love to the people in my life.
My son recently criticized me for calling his Biology teacher "he." He said that he had already told me that it was a woman. I didn't really remember or didn't pay attention. But he seemed really irritated. It hurt my feelings. Then, I realized that I didn't want to be so touchy. I want to be loving and kind. I want to be someone that they would want to be around. If I am touchy and easily hurt, they will not want a lot of that. It's childish.
My daughter frequently ignores me when I am talking to her for a while before she answers or acknowledges that I have spoken. That hurts my feelings. I feel like a cell phone takes precedence. But that is childish, too.It may need correction because it is rude, but it shouldn't hurt my feelings.
We can't have that kind of love unless we spend a lot of time letting the Lover of our souls fill us with His goodness and love. To overflowing.
Oh, how I love Him!
Tomorrow we continue our Revive Our Marriage Series! I can't wait! My marriage is improving!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Another post by the Revive Your Marriage Team
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/09/revive-your-marriage-revive-your-attitude/
It’s time to…Revive Your Marriage! This month I’m joining three bloggy friends, and every Monday we’ll all write our own posts on how you can Revive Your Marriage!
Today our topic is Revive Your Marriage through Reviving Your Attitude!
I have a friend that we’ll call Laura. Laura married her husband Jeff right out of university. Jeff came from a blue collar family, and was the first to pursue higher education among his immediate relatives. He was a hard worker, and Laura loved that about him. He was focused. He was responsible.
When they had children, Laura stopped working to stay at home, because Jeff was now a corporate exec in a multinational company. And Jeff worked. A lot. In fact, he worked at least six days a week, and of those six days, was only home two or three when the children were still awake. Fourteen hour days were par for the course.
Laura spoke with him about this at length when the kids were young, and his response was that he knew the kids were safe with her and thriving, but he needed to put in these hours so that they could reach their dreams, and be able to retire early and give their kids so many great experiences and opportunities. Laura told him that she thought the kids wanted more of him. He replied that this would mean having to leave his job, and there’s no way he’d find another one that would let him be home more at even half the income, so it wasn’t an option.
And this is where Laura made a decision that likely many people would find difficult, if not wrong.
She let it go.
Did she think it was good for the family if Jeff missed out on most of the children’s lives? No. Did she think it hurt the kids? Yes. Would she have been happy at half the salary? Yes. Did she think his priorities were messed up? Yes.
But she also knew that she wasn’t going to change him, and that she had two choices:
And lo and behold, as the years went by, he started to take a little more initiative to seek out the older kids to do things with them. And the family has fared quite well–so far.
Here’s the thing: many of us in our marriages have one or two things that our husbands do that we find it very difficult to live with. Maybe he works too much. Maybe he’s just really lazy and doesn’t work enough. Maybe he doesn’t help with the kids. Maybe he spends too much time with his mother. Maybe he doesn’t talk to you enough.
I don’t know what it is, but I do know this: If this is not something that you would divorce him over, you need to give it to God and stop letting it make you bitter.
Men thrive on appreciation and respect; when we show that we appreciate them, we empower them, and quite often they want to do more. They tend to thrive in areas of their lives where they get the most positive feedback, which is one reason so many men spend so much time at work.
Appreciation is hard when you can see all the bad choices that he has making that are harming not just him, but also you and the kids. And you know one day he’ll regret it. But you can’t change him. Only God can. And the more bitter you become, the bigger wedge you will build in your marriage.
Some things are so big that we have to take action, like if he’s using porn, or if he never ever makes love to you, or if he’s violent. But other things, even if they really hurt is, we have to let go, because hanging on to them will ultimately more painful and more dangerous than letting go.
God is big enough to hold you, to do battle for you, to change your husband’s heart (and yours). You don’t have to do that. Will you hand over the one or two things that are keeping you from totally loving your husband today? If it’s not something that you would leave over (like adultery, or addiction, or abuse), then you shouldn’t leave him emotionally now, either.
I know this isn’t popular to say. I know a lot of you are mad at me right now, and thinking what an idiot your husband is. I don’t walk in your shoes, and it could be that your husband really is that horrible. But then, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you marry him?
You saw something nice in your husband once. I believe those attractive qualities can come out again if you start accepting him and even pursuing him. So, please, ladies, even if you don’t believe what I’m saying, can I ask you to try today’s challenge?
Instead of focusing on how he has failed you, commit to just loving and accepting him. Even commit to making love more frequently! As you make love more, you will feel closer to him and you’ll feel more goodwill, too. Maybe that’s hard for you because you honestly don’t enjoy sex. If that’s the case, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex has great info in a fun way that can help you turn it around! If you feel really distant from your husband, sometimes getting a new perspective on sex can start the process of bringing you together again.
Throughout this week I’ll be writing more about how to change our attitude–and on Wednesday I’ll finally write my big post on what I think submission means (since a number of you have been asking lately!) So tune in this week, too!
My three blogging friends have also written on this today, and you can see what they have to say, too!
Courtney from WomenLivingWell, Darlene from TimeWarpWife.com, and Jennifer from UnveiledWife.com have all written awesome posts on prayer! Click on through to see what they have to say.
And you can have your say, too! Just leave a comment to tell us the struggles you’ve had with prayer, the solutions you’ve found, or how you remind yourself to pray for your husband and encourage him through prayer. And if you blog, you can write a Revive Your Marriage post and link up using the linky below! The same linky appears on all four blogs, so you’ll get even more coverage for your post!
Join us next Monday when we talk about how to “Revive Your Attitude”!
Revive Your Marriage: Revive Your Attitude
September 9, 2012 By
Revive Your Marriage Series
Today our topic is Revive Your Marriage through Reviving Your Attitude!I have a friend that we’ll call Laura. Laura married her husband Jeff right out of university. Jeff came from a blue collar family, and was the first to pursue higher education among his immediate relatives. He was a hard worker, and Laura loved that about him. He was focused. He was responsible.
When they had children, Laura stopped working to stay at home, because Jeff was now a corporate exec in a multinational company. And Jeff worked. A lot. In fact, he worked at least six days a week, and of those six days, was only home two or three when the children were still awake. Fourteen hour days were par for the course.
Laura spoke with him about this at length when the kids were young, and his response was that he knew the kids were safe with her and thriving, but he needed to put in these hours so that they could reach their dreams, and be able to retire early and give their kids so many great experiences and opportunities. Laura told him that she thought the kids wanted more of him. He replied that this would mean having to leave his job, and there’s no way he’d find another one that would let him be home more at even half the income, so it wasn’t an option.
And this is where Laura made a decision that likely many people would find difficult, if not wrong.
She let it go.
Did she think it was good for the family if Jeff missed out on most of the children’s lives? No. Did she think it hurt the kids? Yes. Would she have been happy at half the salary? Yes. Did she think his priorities were messed up? Yes.
But she also knew that she wasn’t going to change him, and that she had two choices:
She chose the latter. She gave her husband over to God, and she started to live her life with gratitude. Instead of resenting the fact that Jeff wasn’t there, she made sure she and the kids had fun. She occasionally even planned vacations without Jeff. And whenever Jeff was home, she made the time fun for him and the kids. And she made sure he knew that she appreciated him for being there. She even vowed to make their sex life great again.
- I can be bitter about this and make everyone’s life miserable over it
- Or I can accept it and try to give all of us the best life I can within these confines
And lo and behold, as the years went by, he started to take a little more initiative to seek out the older kids to do things with them. And the family has fared quite well–so far.
Here’s the thing: many of us in our marriages have one or two things that our husbands do that we find it very difficult to live with. Maybe he works too much. Maybe he’s just really lazy and doesn’t work enough. Maybe he doesn’t help with the kids. Maybe he spends too much time with his mother. Maybe he doesn’t talk to you enough.
I don’t know what it is, but I do know this: If this is not something that you would divorce him over, you need to give it to God and stop letting it make you bitter.
Men thrive on appreciation and respect; when we show that we appreciate them, we empower them, and quite often they want to do more. They tend to thrive in areas of their lives where they get the most positive feedback, which is one reason so many men spend so much time at work.
Appreciation is hard when you can see all the bad choices that he has making that are harming not just him, but also you and the kids. And you know one day he’ll regret it. But you can’t change him. Only God can. And the more bitter you become, the bigger wedge you will build in your marriage.
Some things are so big that we have to take action, like if he’s using porn, or if he never ever makes love to you, or if he’s violent. But other things, even if they really hurt is, we have to let go, because hanging on to them will ultimately more painful and more dangerous than letting go.
God is big enough to hold you, to do battle for you, to change your husband’s heart (and yours). You don’t have to do that. Will you hand over the one or two things that are keeping you from totally loving your husband today? If it’s not something that you would leave over (like adultery, or addiction, or abuse), then you shouldn’t leave him emotionally now, either.
I know this isn’t popular to say. I know a lot of you are mad at me right now, and thinking what an idiot your husband is. I don’t walk in your shoes, and it could be that your husband really is that horrible. But then, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you marry him?
You saw something nice in your husband once. I believe those attractive qualities can come out again if you start accepting him and even pursuing him. So, please, ladies, even if you don’t believe what I’m saying, can I ask you to try today’s challenge?
Instead of focusing on how he has failed you, commit to just loving and accepting him. Even commit to making love more frequently! As you make love more, you will feel closer to him and you’ll feel more goodwill, too. Maybe that’s hard for you because you honestly don’t enjoy sex. If that’s the case, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex has great info in a fun way that can help you turn it around! If you feel really distant from your husband, sometimes getting a new perspective on sex can start the process of bringing you together again.
Throughout this week I’ll be writing more about how to change our attitude–and on Wednesday I’ll finally write my big post on what I think submission means (since a number of you have been asking lately!) So tune in this week, too!
My three blogging friends have also written on this today, and you can see what they have to say, too!
Courtney from WomenLivingWell, Darlene from TimeWarpWife.com, and Jennifer from UnveiledWife.com have all written awesome posts on prayer! Click on through to see what they have to say.
And you can have your say, too! Just leave a comment to tell us the struggles you’ve had with prayer, the solutions you’ve found, or how you remind yourself to pray for your husband and encourage him through prayer. And if you blog, you can write a Revive Your Marriage post and link up using the linky below! The same linky appears on all four blogs, so you’ll get even more coverage for your post!
Join us next Monday when we talk about how to “Revive Your Attitude”!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Revive Your Marriage Week 2
Last week, we began our challenge with prayer. Let's continue in prayer for our husbands and ourselves and get started on Challenge number 2!
There have been times I was so disillusioned with my marriage. Some of you may have been there. Some of you may still be there. But I have never given up on God's ability to sustain and provide. He is faithful. He is able. I look at King Nebuchadnezzar. Though he had seen God's miracles as God rescued Daniel from the lion's den, and Daniel interpret dreams and other miracles, he failed to give God credit for his power and his kingdom. God was able to change his heart and his mind. Sometimes when I am praying for someone that seems too hardened for God to touch, I like to remember King Nebuchadnezzar. God can work the impossible in hearts and He can work the impossible in our marriages.
Life is fleeting. We only live for a short while with our husbands here on earth. Are you living it well?
I want to, and I know you do too.
Remember what you love about your husband. Remember all his good qualities. Remember your courtship. Let him be your knight in shining armour again in your heart. And love him like God loves us.
God CAN do the miraculous!
Here is the link to Women Living Well for this weeks challenge.
Lord,
We want our marriages and our lives to be to Your glory, for You alone are worthy. From You and In You and To You and For You, are all things. With Your miraculous hands and heart, Lord, empower us to love as You love and be the wives You created us to be. Enable and empower us to have the marriages You designed us to have to Your glory.
We love You!
In Jesus Name,
Cheryl
There have been times I was so disillusioned with my marriage. Some of you may have been there. Some of you may still be there. But I have never given up on God's ability to sustain and provide. He is faithful. He is able. I look at King Nebuchadnezzar. Though he had seen God's miracles as God rescued Daniel from the lion's den, and Daniel interpret dreams and other miracles, he failed to give God credit for his power and his kingdom. God was able to change his heart and his mind. Sometimes when I am praying for someone that seems too hardened for God to touch, I like to remember King Nebuchadnezzar. God can work the impossible in hearts and He can work the impossible in our marriages.
Life is fleeting. We only live for a short while with our husbands here on earth. Are you living it well?
I want to, and I know you do too.
Remember what you love about your husband. Remember all his good qualities. Remember your courtship. Let him be your knight in shining armour again in your heart. And love him like God loves us.
God CAN do the miraculous!
Here is the link to Women Living Well for this weeks challenge.
Lord,
We want our marriages and our lives to be to Your glory, for You alone are worthy. From You and In You and To You and For You, are all things. With Your miraculous hands and heart, Lord, empower us to love as You love and be the wives You created us to be. Enable and empower us to have the marriages You designed us to have to Your glory.
We love You!
In Jesus Name,
Cheryl
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Beauty for Ashes
Isaiah 61 : 1 - 3
The Year of the Lord’s Favor
1The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,a
2to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
I know that you, like me, have ashes in your life. The areas or situations that need to be restored, redeemed. The areas that need the touch of the Master's hand.
I ran across this verse tongiht.
Often God will give me a verse to lift my heart when I am burdened for one of those areas that need His redemption. Not long ago, it was the Book of Daniel. What an awesome God we serve!
He gave me this tonight and I just wanted to share it with you.
God is so good.
He IS our Redeemer!
Praise Him with me!
Lord,
You know the areas of my life that are weighing my heart down. Thank You that You are God. Thank You that You have the power to bring beauty from ashes! Please do that in those areas of my life and in the life of my family. You have proven that You are faithful. Thank You for helping my heart to remember!
I love You, Lord!
Cheryl
Revive Your Marriage
For the first week, the challenge is to Revive Your Prayers for your Husband. The basis of this challenge is James 5:17. The verse says, "The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."(KJV)
In the book by Stormie OMartian - The Power of a Praying Wife, she gives several examples of how we can pray for our husbands. Be sure and ask your husband if he has any special requests and include those. Here are a few others to include:
-
His Wife -that’s a good place to start right? lol!
-
His Work
-
His Finances
-
His Affections
-
His Temptations
-
His Fears
-
His Purpose
-
His Health
-
His Trials
-
His Integrity
-
His Priorities
-
His Fatherhood
-
His Past
-
His Attitude
-
One of my favorite verses on prayer is Philippians 4: 6 -7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. "
You can participate too! I can't get this button to go to the correct date on the blog, but there is a link on the side of the blog where recent posts are listed. Or you may copy and paste the link below the button.
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/09/week-1-revive-your-prayers-for-your-marriage/
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