I reread the words to My Shepherd Will Supply My Need a minute ago. I know that He will. I can do what I have to . I will praise Him. He is always worthy of praise. At all times. I want to be faithful to praise Him always. I want to be faithful to have joy in the midst of my grief.

1. My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace.

2. When I walk through the shades of death,
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.

3. The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

My oldest, Sarah, got married Saturday. It was a beautiful day filled with beautiful memories.
She is only 20, but when she met Bryan, it wasn't long before she knew he was the one. He is an amazing man.
He loves the Lord deeply. He loves Sarah deeply.
She was as calm as anyone could have been for her big day.
She and Brian waited to have their first kiss at their ceremony.
He cried as she walked down the aisle. They both had a wonderful time. They are so excited to start on their lives together and commited to serving the Lord.

I have prayed my children's entire lives for the right mates. I have had them praying for a long time for their future mates.
I was so grateful to God for answering that prayer in such a powerful and unmistakeable way. I know that we are blessed and I know Who blessed us.

The day could not have been more joyful or perfect.



Coincidence or not, Rachel sings to Isabella at home, and when Rachel sang "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" during the ceremony, Isabella started kicking vigorously and kicked the entire time she sang. She didn't do that again the entire day. I was happy to be so concious of her presence there with me. My heart was full of all of my girls.

It is amazing that God sent such an amazing blessing in the midst of heartache. It is amazing how my heart can be full of joy at the same time that my heart is so heavy with heartache over Isabella.

I have been researching ultrasound pictures of trisomy 18 and 13 babies. I just couldn't quite bring myself to believe that she really might have those fatal trisomies, and yet I knew that Dr. Tucker wouldn't exaggerate the probablity to me. I found enough information to support his statements.

I know that because she had a large cystic hygroma, has a polycystic kidney. has a short femur, has swollen looking feet and has growth in the 25% percentile, those are very real possibilities. I found that some babies with trisomy 13 or 18 look normal on ultrasound. It is so hard to admit to myself that it is a real possibility. I wanted to tell myself that since no cardiac abnormalities had shown up, since her fists weren't clenched, and she doesn't have microcephaly that those were not what I was looking at.

I know God didn't close His eyes when He formed her.

Pray that I will be faithful to praise Him for His plan.

I know you understand when I say that that particular plan breaks my heart. It is really hard to get to joy in the midst of my grief.



I love God and I trust Him and I don't want that plan.



I don't want to pray for the best and plan for the worst. If I plan for the worst it is so real for me that I can't stand it. No one else really considers the worst for us. I can tell they don't go there.



How do I do this?



I am really having a hard time. Tonight, I just can't stop crying.


I know My God loves me and her. I do trust Him even when my heart is breaking. I will praise Him no matter what happens. I know Who He Is.



But my heart is broken tonight. I am grieving. If anyone has any words of wisdom to throw my way, I am open.

My shepherd will supply my need

Artist: Isaac Watts
Album: other songs
Buy other songs CD
Lyrics: My Shepherd Will Supply My Need


My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace. 2. When I walk through the shades of death,
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
3. The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

Precious Heavenly Father,

I have to say thank you again today. You have blessed us so immeasurably.

Today, my oldest gets married. My heart is full to overflowing with joy. Joy because I am sure the man she is marrying is a man of God, who will love her as she deserves to be loved and lead her in a life that honors and glorifies You. You pray their entire lives for this kind of blessing. So all I can say is thank you, Father. I know Who accomplishes good in my life and hers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

If I had time this morning, I would say much more. Thank you that no matter what befalls in our lives, You fill us with Your Presence and I KNOW that I am BLESSED.


I love you,

Cheryl

Answered prayer

I haven't listed one of my biggest blessings: my future son in law, will be son in law on Saturday!
I have prayed for my children to find a spouse that loves the Lord for their entire lives. My prayers are sometimes audible and sometimes take the form of trusting God because He knows my hearts desire. He knows that I want, above all, I want my children to live their lives to His glory, to honor and glorify Him because He is worthy or honor and praise. Because He alone is the source of all Good and All Good Things.
Bryan loves the Lord and he loves Sarah. I adore him and am thrilled to add him to our family. I praise God for bringing them together and answering one of the greatest desires of my heart.
Dad always says the two most important decisions a person can make are accepting Jesus as Savior and Lord and marrying the right person.
Sarah has now accomplished both.
Life has bumps.
Life is unpredictable and nothing is certain.
But the two most basic things you need for a happy marriage are to love the Lord and love each other.

As a bonus, Bryan is responsible and has impecable character.His heart is to serve the Lord.

I am overjoyed to turn Sarah over to him!

I am delighted that she will be his responsibility!

I will always be here for them, of course, but what a big rock to put in my stack!

Thank you, Lord for answered prayer. You are truly amazing. If I forgot to thank you before now, let me say:
I praise You for all You do. I praise You for accomplishing this. I thank You for Bryan.

He loves me

When Rachel was about 18 months old, she became very ill. For a couple of weeks she was in the hospital running temps of over 105 even dosing either Tylenol or Motrin every 2 hours, and using tepid baths at 105 in between.
At the end of 2 weeks, her blood work looked odd and her lymph nodes were enlarged. We were sent to University Medical Center in Jackson for about 2 weeks. We spent Easter there. They ran almost no tests for about a week and a half, other than a nasal swab for an adeno virus. When she quit nursing or playing at all and was just lying in the bed, I was standing on my head trying to get someone's attention. They did a CAT of her sinuses(where did that come from, is all I can say). At the end of that week, her temps were down to 102 and they let us go home, saying that although she did not test positive for adeno virus, that must be it and she would recover.
About a week later, her belly looked like she was starving in Africa; it was huge. Her temps were over 101. I called my pediatrician again and he had us come in for some blood work. He and Dr. Massengill consulted together and came in to tell me that it looked like she had leukemia. They were sending her to Birmingham the next day.
I cried all night. Heartbroken and angry. Angry at God.
Over the next couple of days, I asked Him how He could love us and let this happen?
How could He give her to me and take her away?
His answer was almost audible to my heart......
"I gave my only Son so that you could be together for an eternity. You can never lose her. How can you question my love?"
He told me that when my heart was breaking, His was too. I was His child.

I understood what He was saying.
I haven't questioned His love since. I know that whatever befalls, He loves us without question. He made the ultimate sacrifice of His only Son.

Over the next week, they ran tests for all sorts of infections: cat scratch fever, psitacosis, toxiplasmosis, Ebstein Barr, CMV and others.
They tested for autoimmune disorders such as Juvenile Rhuematoid Arthritis, Lupus, etc.
They did CAT scans of her huge liver and spleen for neoplams. They did a bone marrow for Leukemia.
She was diagnosed with CMV and Mono(Ebstein Barr). She had an unusual reaction to two ordinary illnesses.
She would live and be fine.
I love her so much. What a great kid. I am so grateful He let me keep her here.

But through the whole ordeal, He blessed me with the certainty of His love. I have been grateful for the lesson more than once.

"I love the Lord, because He hears
My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live."
— Psalm 116.1,2


“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not look anxiously about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10


Our word from the Lord today is Isaiah 43:1-3 “Now this is what the Lord says—the One who created you, and the One who formed you, Israel. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by your name; you are Mine. I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flames will not burn you. For I the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior give Egypt as a ransom for you.

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth."
— Psalm 145.18

Psalm 23

Jeremiah 30.17 For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Matthew 9.22
Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

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Isaiah 30:26 The light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven days, on the day the LORD binds up the fracture of His people and heals the bruise He has inflicted.

Jeremiah 33:6 'Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them; and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth.

Psalm 107:20 He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions.

2 Cor 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;