Know the plans I have for you plans for good and not for evil plans for hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I feel that God is calling me to serve Him. I don't know in what capacity yet. I want to  witness and bring others to Christ. I want to lead Bible studies and women. I am frail and human and so imperfect. But God says this:
2 Corinthians12;9-10 …9And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
In my weakness relying on Him I am stronger than in my strength.
God my prayer is that you use me the way that you want to. That I be fully submitted to your will for my life.
Show me what you want . Give me utterance to speak and not be afraid of saying the truth.
Fill me with Your Spirit and give me utterance.
Acts 2:4 - And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
I want to love the way He loves and let Him live in me.
…19"For through the Law I died to the Law, so that I might live to God. 20"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. 21"I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly."
I am a sinner. I am so sorry for my sins. They grieve my heart as they grieve God's. Sin leaves scars on us. But I have been cleansed of my sin with my confession and repentance. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV / 701 helpful votes

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Joshua 1:9 ESV / 327 helpful votes

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

1 Peter 5:7 ESV / 250 helpful votes

C

Matthew 28:20 ESV / 209 helpful votes

Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the endm love of money, and bbe content with what you have, for he has said, c“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we can confidently say,The Lord is my helper, I will not fear, What can man do to me?

d“The Lord is mfear not, for I am with you;

    

Isaiah 41:10-13English Standard Version (ESV)

10 fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 Behold, all who are incensed against you
    shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
    shall be as nothing and shall perish.
12 You shall seek those who contend with you,
    but you shall not find them;
those who war against you
    shall be as nothing at all.
13 For I, the Lord your God,
    hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,

    I am the one who helps you.”be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 Behold, all who are incensed against you
    shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
    shall be as nothing and shall perish.
12 You shall seek those who contend with you,
    but you shall not find them;
those who war against you
    shall be as nothing at all.
13 For I, the Lord your God,
    hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,

    I am the one who helps you.

Hebrews 13:5–6

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5 Keep your life afree from love of money, and bbe content with what you have, for he has said, c“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we can confidently say,

d“The Lord is my helper;

eI will not fear;

what can man do to me?”

Consider it all Joy

James   Count it all joy, my brothers,2 when you meet trials fof various kinds, 3 for you know that gthe testing of your faith hproduces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may beiperfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5 jIf any of you lacks wisdom, klet him ask God, lwho gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But mlet him ask in faith, nwith no doubting, for the one who doubts is like oa wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 phe is a double-minded man, qunstable in all his ways.

9 Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, 10 and rthe rich in his humiliation, because slike a flower of the grass3 he will pass away. 11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and twithers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.

12 uBlessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive vthe crown of life, wwhich God has promised to those who love him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire xwhen it has conceived gives birth to sin, and ysin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

It seems like this would be impossible to do. Trails equal pain. How can we as mere humans consider pain as joy. 

In the trials of my life I have found that the pain that god allows in my life turns me to Him. He is worth it all. We are soujourners here. Our citizenship is in heaven. The trials of life help us to realize that we don't belong here and that there is something so much more than this life. Knowing God and receivieng His fellowship, love, companionship, and joy is worth any trial in life. He is the only source of joy and peace in this world. In that one can rejoice in the trials that turn you from the sinful pleasures of this world to His fellowship. Once you have experienced His fellowship, nothing will fill your heart the way He does.

I  rejoice that in this life, I have experienced more trail than  I have easy living. In the midst of my trial, I rejoice that I have God to turn to. He loves me and seeking Him is worth the pain. Often I long for absence of pain, but the pain reminds me to seek Him.As I seek Him, I am filled with His love and the reminder of His promises to me. 

Romans 8:28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;…

He means all things. Even our sin he can use to our good. He brings beauty from ashes.

Isaiah61:3 And provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

What would I do if I were stuck in my sin and had no escape from my wrong doing. 

Jesus.......

I am so grateful for my Savior. He makes me into a new creation. I am  nothing but dust. God knows me and loves me just as I am. He forgives me and loves me just as I am.

Psalm 103:14 

For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.

How comforting to know that my savior knows exactly what I am and loves me still. He was willing to die for me even though I all I try to do as good is as filthy rags.

Isaiah64:6

All of us have become like one who is unclean,
    and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
    and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

I would be swept away with my sins if not for my Saviour.

There is a Laura Story song that expresses this sentiment.

She sings,in her song, "Grace"

"How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down, each time I will fall short of Your glory, How far will forgiveness abound, and You answer my child I love you, as long as you're seeking my face, you walk in the power of my daily sufficient grace."

His forgiveness is unending. There is no limit to His grace. I am eternally grateful because in this earthly body, I am prone to wander.

Romans7:18-20

…18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.…

But Jesus makes us new.

2 Corinthians 5:16-18

…16Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,…

Have you ever wanted to just start over. With God this is possible. There is no sin except failing to accept Jesus' sacrifice for us as the propitiation for our sin that will condemn us. 

John3:16-17

16"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17"For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him

Revalations 3;19-21

…19'Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.20'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 21'He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.…

John 5:13-14

13These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us